you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
