Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Randomize
