he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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