so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
