she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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