he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
