2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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