Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
