Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
the gays at disneyland are vicious
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
