I hate your face
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
