idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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