Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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