You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
