so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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