i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
