he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
