This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
