A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
