My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
