in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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