I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
