I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize