I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
