He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
