This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
