I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
