In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
