): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
