im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
