this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
