my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
