these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
