he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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