dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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