so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
God, I missed his penis.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
