I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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