Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
