Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
