# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
