We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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