i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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