p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
