Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Oh god it's open bar.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
