I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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