And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
