If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
