just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
