Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
