I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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