wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
