Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
