I wish my penis had an off switch
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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