I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize