im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
