By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
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Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
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She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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