Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
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