i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
