I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
