do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize